Friday, December 11, 2009

Payback....

Last night Audrey must have been channeling her little cousin, because she woke up several times through out night. According to my sister-in-law, so did her daughter. Anyway, my husband got up and got her after she woke up the 3rd time and apparently her diaper was full (which he didn't realize) and when he laid down with her to help her fall asleep she peed right through her diaper and onto him. I hear him say, "Oh, Audrey!" through the monitor and when he came back to bed I asked him what happened and he said... "She peed on me!". I laughed so hard for about 10 minutes. I couldn't stop laughing. He sounded so defeated.
Now, onto today's event.
I am taking our cable box thing back to the store (we got AT&T U-verse) and I smell a distinct poopy Audrey smell. So I take her out of the car and hurriedly return the cable thing. On my way back to the car, I notice my arm feels wet. So I put her down and look at the damage done to the diaper. Holy Crap! Seriously. It was awful. Poop was everywhere on Audrey's lower half of her body. I mean everywhere. So, here I am in a parking lot and it is too cold to change her in the back of the car, so I lower the back seats and shut the doors and change her inside the car. That was my 1st mistake..... shutting the doors. I'm not certain, but I think I passed out when I took off her diaper! Poop smell = death. Anyway, so I get her all cleaned up (took 16 wipes--yes, I counted) and grab her diaper. Here is where the term "add insult to injury: comes to mind: No more diapers! What! That can't be! I turned that diaper bag inside out looking for one. So, here I am, naked baby, cold outside, no diaper. Luckily I had an extra pair of pants in the bag. So, I put the pants on her, grab her coat and put it in the car seat, cover the coat with her portable changing mat and buckle her in and head home. So, I get her home, take her out of the seat and she pees on me. Alot. So, I get her inside and start her bath water (she really needed one) and I think to myself: This can't get any worse. WRONG! She peed on the bathroom floor. Alot. (Note to self: cut back on liquids for Audrey).
So, while she is in the bath, I am mopping the bathroom floor, starting laundry and restocking the diaper bag..... with at least 10 diapers b/c I never want to go through this again!
After I put her down for a nap, I check the car seat. Trust me when I say the poop went everywhere. If my husband can't clean that car seat, I'm pitching it and getting a new one!

I promise, I will try much harder to not laugh at my husband if Audrey pees on him again. He won't admit it, but I know he asked Jesus to teach me a lesson. Anyway, here's to a better evening! Hope everyone enjoyed reading about the event of the day!

4 comments:

Unknown said...

LMAO! Oh, sweet friend. I only laugh because I have BEEN THERE, DONE THAT! Except I was in the Sprouts check out line and the runny baby poo was literally going down my skirt. Rude Indian man at the end of the line was just standing there staring at me in contempt. Obviously, he's never had kids. LOL!

Since then, I keep a few diapees in the glove compartment of the car, along with one of those small packages of travel wipes and plastic bags. They have come in handy several times!

TeamBortzfield said...

yes, glove compartment. We also learned that the hard way. Luckily it was summer but I had no extra pants! Good luck tonight AJ

Nathan said...

I laughed so hard when I read your post! I'm sure I can think of similar situations. Love your sense of humor! And you! -sara

Amber said...

That was hysterical! Thank you for sharing!