Things I learned from a pan-peddler....

As I sat in the parking lot of the Micro Center waiting for Bryan to meet me so we could take my car to the mechanics, I saw a little old man peddling for change from the people going into the store. I sat in the car hoping he wouldn't come up to me for various reasons. As I watched him, I thought to myself - How does someone get to that point? What has happened in his life that brought him to his present state? Is he really in need? (I don't mean to be critical, but some people take advantage of others compassion). My heart hurt for him, but at the same time I became incredibly thankful to God for all he has blessed me with. This was his child too, he loved him as much as he loved me; yet our circumstances were completely different. I have so much and I still complain sometimes. Why? I have no idea. I feel disappointed with God when I don't think things are going fairly (my way). I forget that God has a plan and that it is HIS plan done in his timing.

Yesterday was a hard day for me at work. I had posted that I had some opportunities possibly at my work to take on a more leadership role in HR with my company. In a meeting yesterday, things didn't go as I had prayed. I was disappointed and hurt. Also angry. I had been working so hard and I thought it was all for nothing.

This morning Bryan and I got some more bad news from my doctor. I was crushed. I don't know how else to put it. As I sat in the doctor's office in tears, trying to listen to my doctor tell me that it will just take more tests and time to figure out how to fix the cysts. (She is hoping they will go away on their own, but so far they haven't; they have just doubled in size and are causing problems). It's not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear that I was cured. That everything was now okay. No more problems. That is not what my doctor had to share with us.
Don't get me wrong, I love my doctor. She has been so supportive and has my health as her top priority, which is wonderful. She also saw that my body is trying to resolve the problems on its own and she wants to give it time to do that, if it can. I'm having a problem with the waiting part.

So what does this mean?

It means God is in control, not me. He knows what is happening with my work and what will happen with my future career. He has a plan for Bryan and I's family. In his time and his way. He loves me as much as he loves the peddler I saw last night.

So even though I have been dealt some blows, God is the one constant thing I have and the only thing I need. This is what comforts me and will continue to comfort me. I ask for continued prayers that I will remember (Bryan too) that God's plan is a divine plan and the only one that should be sought.
I will try and keep everyone posted after my follow up (from this follow up) doctor's visit in a couple of weeks. We are hoping that the cysts will resolve on their own. If not, we'll have to go a different route. I don't know what that route is yet. We have a few options.

Thank you for all the prayers thus far with my work and health, and please keep them coming!